Why can't we talk to one another?

 There are many things to be concerned about in this tumultuous world. I am hesitant about people who claim there is one big issue or problem that we need to fix in order to create a better world. Yet, here I will suggest an issue that is an obstacle to moving forward as a society on a wide range of issues, whether it is racism, economic inequality, abortion, climate change, vaccines, refugees, or political polarisation, ...

In the Western world, we have lost the art of conversation. We can't talk to one another anymore, particularly about controversial issues. We don't seem to be able to have civil and informed dialogue. This is happening at all scales, from families to groups of friends, churches, and national political discussions.

A major cause of the problem is smartphones and more specifically social media. Unless we learn to manage each of them, from the individual to the national level, I fear we are moving towards a dark era of chaos, instability, violence, and authoritarianism.

In order to see the problem from several different angles, I want to explore the following questions.

What is the evidence that there has been a significant decline in civil discussion?

What might be the causes of the problem?

Why does this matter so much?

How does this problem reflect innate human aspirations?

What is a theological perspective on these aspirations?

How might the problem be addressed?

Let me begin with the first question.

What is the evidence that there has been a significant decline in civil discussion?

The problem may be most acute in the U.S.A. Political polarisation was increasing before Trump and solidified by him. Extended families who normally enjoyed one another's company discovered that family gatherings were fraught and dreaded. The "culture wars" have spilled into school board meetings: some have moved from being boring bureaucratic affairs to shouting matches. On the national level it has become difficult for Congress to pass any legislation, even a budget to keep the government running, regardless of who is in power.

The comments sections on online newspaper articles seem to be a mixture of the inane, cruel, irrelevant, condescending, ... with opponents trading insults. Facebook discussions, even among "friends", too often degenerate into uncivil arguments that are informed by hearsay and conspiracy theories.

What might be causing the problem?

I don't want to be naive and deny the problems of the past or romanticise the past. There have always been elements of society that have engaged in discussion that was uncivil and ill-informed. Political debate has too often been superficial and polarised. However, smartphones and social media have escalated these problems and tendencies to a whole different level. Why?

 

The medium through which you communicate can have a significant effect on the quality of the communication. In face to face communication, you are aware that the person you are talking to is a living breathing human being, just like you, and with feelings, thoughts, aspirations, and sensitivities. One does not just communicate with words but also with the tone of voice, pauses, eye contact, and body language. It is not just what you say but how you say it. These elements of face to face communication increase understanding and empathy, and moderate anger and hostility. Conversation partners respond to one another in real-time, providing the opportunity for clarification, short-circuiting the possibility to stew over and misinterpret the content or intentions of your partner.

These important elements of face to face communication are completely missing in social media, decreasing the accuracy of communication, empathy, and awareness of the humanity of the conversation partner. Sometimes they are just a name, even a pseudonym, seen on the screen of a smartphone. 

Social media also presents the problem of "echo chambers" and misinformation. You can choose your sources of information and who you have conversations with. You can avoid engaging with people who have different views to you or with information that you do not agree with or may challenge your views.

Hopefully, I will come to the other questions soon.

Feel free to weigh in with your own perspective. Do you think this is a major problem? What is causing it? How might it be addressed?